Yer Hard Edged Dictionary o' Glaswegian and Scottish words.

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Glaswegian Words

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Top 10 Scottish Words


Rabbie Burns Poems

Stuart McLean Poems

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Top 100 Scottish Songs

Top 100 Scottish Rhymes

Funny Scottish Scripts


Scottish Cities

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Islands by Size

Scottish Munro's

Scottish Lochs

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Scottish Whisky


Scottish Boys Names

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Doric Carnival


Images of Scotland


Glasgow Race for Life

Glasgow Race for Life 09

 

Scottish & Scotland


Funny Books by thon Scottish guy Stuart McLean - available UK, Canada, USA and ither countries.

Noo go an get wan - right!


 

No' Rabbie Burns - funny Scottish Poems

Rabbie Burns Scottish Poet Books

Why Did the Haggis Cross the Road? - hilarious Scottish jokes.

why-did-the-haggis-cross-the-road

A Midge in Your Hand is Worth Two Up Your Kilt - witty Scottish proverbs.

A Midge in Your Hand is Worth Two Up Your Kilt

Ned Speak

Learn  the lingo of the Scottish Ned - and you will love them even more.

glasgow slang words

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Scottish Poet William Topaz McGonagall

William Topaz McGonagall (March 1825  29 September 1902) was a Scottish weaver, actor, amateur poet, and performance artist, today famous for being arguably the worst poet in the English language. His performance art centred on his own belief (apparently held sincerely and in good faith) that his verse showed a high degree of verbal skill and talent. Groups throughout Scotland engaged him to make recitations from his works; these performances drew large audiences which responded enthusiastically to McGonagall's poetic lines.

Contemporary descriptions of these performances indicate that a significant proportion of these listeners were appreciating McGonagall's skill as a comic music hall character, rather than his poems as such. His reputation as a versifier has not improved with time. In 1992 a selection of his works was reprinted under the title of World's Worst Poet.

 

Thoughts on William Topaz McGonagall

Some say William Topaz McGonagall's poems were great,

Some say they were rubbish,

But I say that unless you have read them all,

You shouldn't speculate!

(Copyright Stuart Macfarlane)
 

From Poetic Gems

An Ode to the Queen on her Jubilee Year by William Topaz McGonagall

The Death of Prince Leopold by William Topaz McGonagall

The Death of Lord and Lady Dalhousie by William Topaz McGonagall

The Funeral of the German Emperor by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Tel-el-Kebir by William Topaz McGonagall

The Famous Tay Whale by William Topaz McGonagall

The Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay by William Topaz McGonagall

The Newport Railway by William Topaz McGonagall

The Tay Bridge Disaster by William Topaz McGonagall

An Address to the New Tay Bridge by William Topaz McGonagall

The Late Sir John Ogilvy by William Topaz McGonagall

The Rattling Boy from Dublin by William Topaz McGonagall

The Burial of the Reverend Gilfillan by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of El-Teb by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Abu Klea by William Topaz McGonagall

A Christmas Carol by William Topaz McGonagall

The Christmas Goose by William Topaz McGonagall

An Autumn Reverie by William Topaz McGonagall

The Wreck of the Steamer 'London' while on her way to Australia by William Topaz McGonagall

The Wreck of the 'Thomas Dryden' in Pentland Firth by William Topaz McGonagall

Attempted Assassination of the Queen by William Topaz McGonagall

Saving a Train by William Topaz McGonagall

The Moon by William Topaz McGonagall

The Beautiful Sun by William Topaz McGonagall

Grace Darling or The Wreck of the 'Forfarshire' by William Topaz McGonagall

To Mr James Scrymgeour, Dundee by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Bannockburn by William Topaz McGonagall

Edinburgh by William Topaz McGonagall

Glasgow by William Topaz McGonagall

Oban by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Flodden Field by William Topaz McGonagall

Greenlands Icy Mountains by William Topaz McGonagall

A Tribute to Henry M. Stanley by William Topaz McGonagall

Jottings of New York by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful Monikie by William Topaz McGonagall

A Tribute to Mr Murphy and the Blue Ribbon Army by William Topaz McGonagall

Loch Katrine by William Topaz McGonagall

Forget-Me-Not by William Topaz McGonagall

The Royal Review by William Topaz McGonagall

The Nithsdale Widow and Her Son by William Topaz McGonagall

Jack o' the Cudgel by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Culloden by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Sheriffmuir by William Topaz McGonagall

The Execution of James Graham, Marquis of Montrose by William Topaz McGonagall

Baldovan by William Topaz McGonagall

Loch Leven by William Topaz McGonagall

Montrose by William Topaz McGonagall

The Castle of Mains by William Topaz McGonagall

Broughty Ferry by William Topaz McGonagall

Robert Burns by William Topaz McGonagall

Adventures of King Robert the Bruce by William Topaz McGonagall

A Tale of the Sea by William Topaz McGonagall

Descriptive Jottings of London by William Topaz McGonagall

Annie Marshall the Foundling by William Topaz McGonagall

Bill Bowls the Sailor by William Topaz McGonagall

Young Munro the Sailor by William Topaz McGonagall

The Death of the Old Mendicant by William Topaz McGonagall

An Adventure in the Life of King James V of Scotland by William Topaz McGonagall

The Clepington Catastrophe by William Topaz McGonagall

The Rebel Surprise Near Tamai by William Topaz McGonagall

Burning of the Exeter Theatre by William Topaz McGonagall

John Rouat the Fisherman by William Topaz McGonagall

The Sorrows of the Blind by William Topaz McGonagall

General Gordon, the Hero of Khartoum by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Cressy by William Topaz McGonagall

The Wreck of the Barque 'Wm. Paterson' of Liverpool by William Topaz McGonagall

Hanchen, the Maid of the Mill by William Topaz McGonagall

Wreck of the Schooner 'Samuel Crawford' by William Topaz McGonagall

The First Grenadier of France by William Topaz McGonagall

The Tragic Death of the Rev. A.H. Mackonochie by William Topaz McGonagall

The Burning of the Steamer 'City of Montreal' by William Topaz McGonagall

The Wreck of the Whaler 'Oscar' by William Topaz McGonagall

Jenny Carrister, the Heroine of Lucknow-Mine by William Topaz McGonagall

The Horrors of Majuba by William Topaz McGonagall

The Miraculous Escape of Robert Allan, the Fireman by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Shina, in Africa, fought in 1800 by William Topaz McGonagall

The Collision in the English Channel by William Topaz McGonagall

The Pennsylvania Disaster by William Topaz McGonagall

The Sprig of Moss by William Topaz McGonagall

 

From More Poetic Gems

The Destroying Angel or The Poet's Dream by William Topaz McGonagall

Lines in Defence of the Stage by William Topaz McGonagall

Calamity in London by William Topaz McGonagall

The Black Watch Memorial by William Topaz McGonagall

Lost on the Prairie by William Topaz McGonagall

The Irish Convict's Return by William Topaz McGonagall

Little Jamie by William Topaz McGonagall

An Address to the Rev. George Gilfillan by William Topaz McGonagall

An Address to Shakespeare by William Topaz McGonagall

The Fair Maid of Perth's House by William Topaz McGonagall

The Queen's Jubilee Celebrations by William Topaz McGonagall

An Ode to the Queen by William Topaz McGonagall

The Death of the Queen by William Topaz McGonagall

A Humble Heroine by William Topaz McGonagall

Nora, the Maid of Killarney by William Topaz McGonagall

Little Popeet - The Lost Child by William Topaz McGonagall

The Little Match Girl by William Topaz McGonagall

A Tale of Elsinore by William Topaz McGonagall

The Bonnie Sidlaw Hills by William Topaz McGonagall

Bonnie Callander by William Topaz McGonagall

Bonnie Kilmany by William Topaz McGonagall

Bonnie Montrose by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful Comrie by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful North Berwick by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful Crieff by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful Balmoral by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful Village of Penicuik by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful Nairn by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful Torquay by William Topaz McGonagall

The Ancient Town of Leith by William Topaz McGonagall

The City of Perth by William Topaz McGonagall

Bonnie Dundee in 1878 by William Topaz McGonagall

Loch Ness by William Topaz McGonagall

A Descriptive Poem on the Silvery Tay by William Topaz McGonagall

The Den o' Fowlis by William Topaz McGonagall

The Inauguration of the Hill o' Balgay by William Topaz McGonagall

The Bonnie Lass o' Dundee by William Topaz McGonagall

The Bonnie Lass o' Ruily by William Topaz McGonagall

Mary, the Maid o' the Tay by William Topaz McGonagall

The Heatherblend Club Banquet by William Topaz McGonagall

The Summary History of Sir William Wallace by William Topaz McGonagall

Lines in Praise of Tommy Atkins by William Topaz McGonagall

The Relief of Mafeking by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Glencoe by William Topaz McGonagall

The Capture of Havana by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Waterloo by William Topaz McGonagall

The Albion Battleship Calamity by William Topaz McGonagall

An All Night Sea Fight by William Topaz McGonagall

The Wreck of the Steamer 'Stella' by William Topaz McGonagall

The Wreck of the Steamer 'Storm Queen' by William Topaz McGonagall

The Wreck of the 'Abercrombie Robinson' by William Topaz McGonagall

The Loss of the 'Victoria' by William Topaz McGonagall

The Burning of the Ship 'Kent' by William Topaz McGonagall

The Wreck of the 'Indian Chief' by William Topaz McGonagall

Captain Teach alias 'Black Beard' by William Topaz McGonagall

The Disastrous Fire at Scarborough by William Topaz McGonagall

The Burial of Mr Gladstone by William Topaz McGonagall

The Death of the Rev. Dr. Wilson by William Topaz McGonagall

The Death of Captain Ward by William Topaz McGonagall

McGonagall's Ode to the King by William Topaz McGonagall

A Soldier's Reprieve by William Topaz McGonagall

Richard Piggot, The Forger by William Topaz McGonagall

The Troubles of Matthew Mahoney by William Topaz McGonagall

From Last Poetic Gems

A Requisition to the Queen by William Topaz McGonagall

The Demon Drink by William Topaz McGonagall

Grif, of the Bloody Hand by William Topaz McGonagall

A Summary History of Lord Clive by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of the Nile by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful Aberfoyle by William Topaz McGonagall

The Convict's Return by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Alexandria by William Topaz McGonagall

Saved by Music by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful Newport on the Braes o' the Silvery Tay by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Corunna by William Topaz McGonagall

A Tale of Christmas Eve by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Gujrat by William Topaz McGonagall

Bill Bowls, the Sailor by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Alma by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful Rothesay by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Inkermann by William Topaz McGonagall

Little Pierre's Song by William Topaz McGonagall

The Capture of Lucknow by William Topaz McGonagall

The Burns Statue by William Topaz McGonagall

The Hero of Kalapore by William Topaz McGonagall

Jack Honest or the Widow and her Son by William Topaz McGonagall

The Downfall of Delhi by William Topaz McGonagall

The River of Leith by William Topaz McGonagall

The Ashantee War by William Topaz McGonagall

The Beautiful City of Perth by William Topaz McGonagall

General Roberts in Afghanistan by William Topaz McGonagall

Farewell Address at the Argyle Hall by William Topaz McGonagall

The Last Berkshire Eleven by William Topaz McGonagall

The Sunderland Calamity by William Topaz McGonagall

The Inauguration of the University College by William Topaz McGonagall

The Great Franchise Demonstration by William Topaz McGonagall

The Wreck of the Barque 'Lynton' by William Topaz McGonagall

The Great Yellow River Inundation In China by William Topaz McGonagall

The Death of Fred Marsden, the American Playwright by William Topaz McGonagall

An Excursion Steamer Sunk in the Tay by William Topaz McGonagall

The Funeral of the Late Ex-Provost Rough, Dundee by William Topaz McGonagall

The Crucifixion of Christ by William Topaz McGonagall

Death and Burial of Lord Tennyson by William Topaz McGonagall

A New Year's Resolution to Leave Dundee by William Topaz McGonagall

Lines in Reply to the Beautiful Poet who Welcomed News of McGonagall's Departure from Dundee by William Topaz McGonagall

Lines in Memoriam Regarding the Entertainment ... in Reform Street Hall, Dundee by William Topaz McGonagall

Lines in Praise of Mr. J. Graham Henderson, Hawick by William Topaz McGonagall

The Terrific Cyclone of 1893 by William Topaz McGonagall

A Tribute to Dr. Murison by William Topaz McGonagall

The Kessack Ferry-Boat Fatality by William Topaz McGonagall

Lines in Praise of the Lyric Club Banquet by William Topaz McGonagall

Lines in Praise of Professor Blackie by William Topaz McGonagall

The Funeral of the Late Prince Henry of Battenberg by William Topaz McGonagall

The Burning of the People's Variety Theatre, Aberdeen by William Topaz McGonagall

The Storming of the Dargai Heights by William Topaz McGonagall

Saving a Train by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Atbara by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful Balmerino by William Topaz McGonagall

The Battle of Omdurman by William Topaz McGonagall

The Village of Tayport and its Surroundings by William Topaz McGonagall

The Blind Girl by William Topaz McGonagall

The Wreck of the Steamer Mohegan by William Topaz McGonagall

The Hero of Rorke's Drift by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful Edinburgh by William Topaz McGonagall

Women's Suffrage by William Topaz McGonagall

Lord Robert's Triumphal Entry into Pretoria by William Topaz McGonagall

A Tribute to Mr J. Graham Henderson, The World's Fair Judge by William Topaz McGonagall

The Wreck of the 'Columbine' by William Topaz McGonagall

Balmoral Castle by William Topaz McGonagall

A New Temperance Poem, in Memory of my Departed Parents by William Topaz McGonagall

 

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John Logie Baird and Television : Images Across Space by yon smart guy Dr. Douglas Brown

John Logie Baird

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NOTE: The contents of this site are copyright Stuart McLean / Stuart Macfarlane and should not be used in any way without permission. Many of the images on the site have been submitted by visitors - we believe these to be copyright free - however, if you own copyright to any, please let us know and they will be removed or suitable attribution included.

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