Yer Hard Edged Dictionary o' Glaswegian and Scottish words.

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Glaswegian Words

Doric Words

Gaelic Words

Top 10 Scottish Words


Rabbie Burns Poems

Stuart McLean Poems

McGonagall Poems

Top 100 Scottish Songs

Top 100 Scottish Rhymes

Funny Scottish Scripts


Scottish Cities

Scottish Towns

Scottish Islands

Islands by Size

Scottish Munro's

Scottish Lochs

Scottish Rivers

Scottish Whisky


Scottish Boys Names

Scottish Girls Names


Doric Carnival


Images of Scotland


Glasgow Race for Life

Glasgow Race for Life 09

 

Scottish & Scotland


Funny Books by thon Scottish guy Stuart McLean - available UK, Canada, USA and ither countries.

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No' Rabbie Burns - funny Scottish Poems

Rabbie Burns Scottish Poet Books

Why Did the Haggis Cross the Road? - hilarious Scottish jokes.

why-did-the-haggis-cross-the-road

A Midge in Your Hand is Worth Two Up Your Kilt - witty Scottish proverbs.

A Midge in Your Hand is Worth Two Up Your Kilt

Ned Speak

Learn  the lingo of the Scottish Ned - and you will love them even more.

glasgow slang words

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Poems by the one and only 'great' Scottish Poet William Topaz McGonagall

POEM : An Adventure in the Life of King James V of Scotland by William Topaz McGonagall

FROM : From Poetic Jems

ON one occasion King James the Fifth of Scotland, when alone, in disguise,
Near by the Bridge of Cramond met with rather a disagreeable surprise.
He was attacked by five gipsy men without uttering a word,
But he manfully defended himself with his sword.

There chanced to be a poor man threshing corn in a barn near by,
Who came out on hearing the noise so high;
And seeing one man defending himself so gallantly,
That he attacked the gipsies with his flail, and made them flee.

Then he took the King into the barn,
Saying, 'I hope, sir, you've met with no great harm;
And for five men to attack you, it's a disgrace;
But stay, I'll fetch a towel and water to wash your face.'

And when the King washed the blood off his face and hands,
'Now, sir, I wish to know who you are,' the King demands.
'My name, sir, is John Howieson, a bondsman on the farm of Braehead.'
'Oh, well,' replied the King, 'your company I need not dread.'

'And perhaps you'll accompany me a little way towards Edinburgh,
Because at present I'm not free from sorrow.
And if you have any particular wish to have gratified,
Let me know it, and it shall not be denied.'

Then honest John said, thinking it no harm,
'Sir, I would like to be the owner of Braehead farm;
But by letting me know who you are it would give my mind relief.'
Then King James he answered that he was the Gudeman of Ballingeich.

'And if you'll meet me at the palace on next Sunday,
Believe me, for your manful assistance, I'll you repay.
Nay, honest John, don't think of you I'm making sport,
I pledge my word at least you shall see the royal court.'

So on the next Sunday John put on his best clothes,
And appeared at the palace gate as~you may suppose.
And he inquired for the Gudeman of Ballingeich;
And when he gained admittance his heart was freed from grief.

For John soon found his friend the Gudeman,
And the King took John by the han',
Then conducted John from one apartment to another,
Just as kindly as if he'd been his own brother.

Then the King asked John if he'd like to see His Majesty.
'Oh, yes,' replied John, 'His Majesty I would really like to see.'
And John looked earnestly into the King's face,
And said, 'How am I to know His Grace?'

'Oh, John, you needn't be the least annoyed about that,
For all heads will be uncovered: the King will wear his hat.'
Then he conducted John into a large hall,
Which was filled by the nobility, crown officers, and all.

Then said John to the King, when he looked round the room,
'Sir, I hope I will see the King very soon.'
Because to see the King, John rather dreaded,
At last he said to the King, ''Tis you! the rest are bare-headed.'

Then the King said, 'John, I give you Braehead farm as it stands,
On condition you provide a towel and basin of water to wash my hands,
If ever I chance to come your way.
Then John said, 'Thanks to your Majesty, I'll willingly obey.'


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NOTE: The contents of this site are copyright Stuart McLean / Stuart Macfarlane and should not be used in any way without permission. Many of the images on the site have been submitted by visitors - we believe these to be copyright free - however, if you own copyright to any, please let us know and they will be removed or suitable attribution included.

If you spot any errors or have other Glaswegian, Scottish or Doric works you would like added to our list please drop us an email.

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