A jobby / or derogatory
term for someone who looks like a jobby
Where'd ye get that keeper.
Oh aye - Ah walked intae a lamp post.
A derogatory term for a
young working class male - though some use his full
name William Johnstone (the only young Scot to
actually have a job)
Keep the heid
Don't got annoyed or frightened
Come oan wee man - keep the
look bleak, we've crashed the car and your leg is
hanging off - but look on the bright side - with a
bit of luck we could still be on time for the start
of The Game.
Keepy uppy / Keepie uppy
To keep the ball in the air by
repetitively kicking or heading it.
Dae ye ken any words
stertin' wae K?
A commotion / fight
A Carry Out / Cargo
Carry Out / Cargo
Neds buy all their shopping from the off-sales and
cargo is their word for a ‘carry out’ or ‘Judas
Iscariot’. A typical week’s cargo is 40 bags of
crisps, 200 fags, 60 cans of lager and 10 bottles of
Buckie. If money is really tight a Ned can survive
without the crisps.
[From Ned Speak by Stuart McLean]
Diz embdy fancy a kerry oot?
Aye - Ah'll huv the redhead it the bottom.
[Footnote : Tennents Lager used to
have sexy girls on their cans before it becace
sexist for guys to fancy women.]
Carpet / These are covering
that can be seen on the floors of posh houses in
some parts of Glasgow and Edinburgh. Elsewhere straw
is more commonly used.
'Hey Magie whits that oan yer
ma new kerpet so it is.'
Kerpet? Whit's a kerpet.'
- like curtains but fur the flair'
Ah've never see that afore - and kin ye open them?'
Call a truce. Mainly used in
children's game - when someone says 'keys' he
becomes immune from capture.
To tell on someone
Wee Jimmy klieped oan me
fur no Daein' ma hamework.
Absentmindedly I forgot to
complete my homework and now Vertically Challenged
James has informed on my Misdemeanour.
A severe beating.
Your fur a kicking fur
kicking ma ba'
Pretending / Making it up
A pleated tartan skirt for
The kilt is the National Dress of the Scottish
Strangely the Scottish Gay community have
rejected the kilt on the grounds that it's just far
Donald Bought a
Kilt by Stuart McLean
Oor Donald bought a kilt last
Och the lad’s no’ that bright,
For as soon as he put it on,
It gave the girls a fright.
Och it may all have been okay,
If he’d had it tailor made,
But he bought in frae, Poundstrechers,
And it’s too short I’m afraid.
Oor Donald’s nearly eight foot six,
For his age he’s awfy big,
And it’s more than the kilt thit swings,
When Donald does a jig.
Och Donald bought a kilt last week,
And he proved that he’s all male,
But he’ll no’ be wearin’ it for a while,
For they threw the lad in jail.
[ From No Rabbie Burns by Stuart McLean]
Rules for wearing a kilt:
a) It's okay to wear a
short kilt if you are female:
b) It is not okay to get
drunk and show what you're wearing under your kilt
c) You must never wear a
dress and pretend its a kilt
Kin Ah huv a hudgie oan
Can I ?
Kinna huv a wee kiss hen?
If I put my false teeth in will you give me a snog?
A medieval dress
Can / Able to.
Yer jist a wee hairy, you
couldnae even get a man.
Beating swords into ploughshares,
Turning hate into love,
Weakness is your greatest strength,
Don’t let the hawk kill the dove.
Rory McBride wis only twelve,
Out fishing on the Clyde,
Something tugged upon his line,
And he very nearly died.
As he fell intae the watter,
He yelled oot words obscene,
Cos it isnae every single day,
That ye catch a submarine.
Drookit he sat upon the bank,
His body awe aquiver,
“Oh fuckin’ Hell,” he cried,
Whit’s that doin’ in oor river.”
For though he wis jist a lad,
He sensed it wisnae right,
Tae try an’ keep the peace wae,
A trillion ton o’ dynamite.
Rory found oot all aboot the subs,
Four cuckoo eggs inglorious,
Vessels of mass destruction,
Vanguard, Vigilant, Vengeance and Victorious.
Each wan wae fourteen nuclear missiles,
Havin’ eight warheids each,
All hoosed just a stones through frae,
Where he played upon the beach.
At eighteen Rory joined the camp,
That’s based doon at Faslane,
Livin’ rough in the carriage,
O a fifty year old train.
And so he joined the battle,
Tae huv Trident removed,
Takin’ part in protest marches,
Though not everyone approved.
Selflessly Rory fights the war for peace,
He’s been tae jail on many a time,
Though he’s never raised a fist in rage,
Loving humanity his only crime.
Noo twenty years he’s been there,
Despite threats and eviction orders,
For our quiet hero, willnae budge,
Till those subs have left oor borders.
NOTE: The contents
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